7 May 2025

Confessions of the aspiring runner

Before our Alphabet overlords allow me to watch a 40 minute video about an old Czech truck, I am required to watch an ad. The ad shows young and attractive people smiling as they push themselves to the limit by running up steep hills, or through busy urban environments as they balance their successful careers with incredible fitness. Meanwhile, I´m in my underwear on the couch, knowing that I´m not ready for my 21km race coming up in 2 weeks. And that I don´t like running.

Running has been incredibly popular for quite a while now, and it does not seem to slow down. Born to Run by Christopher McDougall and Eat and Run by Scott Jurek convey the necessity of running as a part of life, for native tribes in Mexico and Polish-Americans alike. Meanwhile, people around me talk of the peace they feel while running, how their bodies after a few kms run on autopilot, while their thoughts roam freely in a sort of runners high. I have never experienced runners high. Maybe “runner surprise”, being surprised that I am not more miserable when running, has hit me once or twice, but if that counts as a high, I don´t think anyone would be abusing drugs to chase highs.

This constant preaching of the running gospel, amplified by business incentives and an increasingly narcissistic fitness craze only brings out the sceptic in me. It makes me suspicious, makes me think that people are lying about their experiences to fit in, like a big cult controlled by clothing companies and “big fitness”. Like people who claim to love their jobs, or love working in general. I don´t believe them, I don´t want to believe them.

Perpective, however, came from in the form of a video by Van Neistat. Aptly titled Running Sucks it describes Neistats complicated relationship with running. How he hates every second of it, but that the overall benefits are too great to not run. Knowing there are other people that don´t like running, but still choose to do it makes me want to run too. It makes me feel slightly less alienated from running.

Are runners more righteous?

A big part of how ads, like the aforementioned ads for running apparel, work is by selling us more than just a shoe or a tank top. They work buy selling us a lifestyle, displaying the successful and inspiring people running as a part of their admireable lives. As a reluctant runner myself, I am however starting to believe that running, or at least the attitude towards running, can be representative of ones attitude and mindset towards the challenges of everyday life. My sceptic side believes that maybe the whole claimed enjoyment of running is made up, and that talking about ones enjoyment of running is a way to say: “I run and it hurts, but I am a strong righteous person so it doesn´t bother me”, and that people who work a lot and claim to love it are doing something similar. But if I set aside my scepticism for a moment, tackling the hardships of running and coping well with it could probably be translated into other aspects of life, making running more valuable than the health benefits and the bragging potential it entails.

“Discipline is doing what you hate to do, but doing it like you love it”, at least according to Mike Tyson. Maybe the people claiming to love running, crossfit, working hard and studying long nights are not lying, or are only exaggerating a tiny bit. Maybe they have done it so much that they actually started to enjoy what they are doing, even though it “sucks”. Maybe running, like aerobics, dieting etc. of yesteryear actually is about something else: Discipline. Those who run have discipline. And this discipline carries over to other aspects of life. Dressing well, keeping good habits, studying and working hard, even if gratification can be many hard hours of work down the line. Running is a way to practice discipline, and it conveys that that one is a good person, or at least a resilient person.

Then we get to me. I run once a week. Not very fast. Not wearing the right gear. Not enjoying it. Just praying for the hill to end so it gets a bit easier. Or for the class to end, for summer vacation or a week off from work. For quick and greasy food to soothe my cravings. Maybe me being a bad runner is a symptom of something else, me not being a particularly good person. Sporting goods advertisements therefore hit me right in the heart, gives me a glimpse of what my life could be. Maybe all I need is to learn to run, and enjoy it even though it sucks, so that I can become a good person. A person who keeps on top of cleaning, cooking, studying, social relations and career development.

Until I do learn to run, I am the same bad person, who will struggle to get around the 21km race track. Society shakes its head, for I lack discipline.